CRUMPETS

She spilled the Tea. We burn the whole bakery

The no-filter, zero-simp app for men to drop receipts, spot red flags, and stop getting emotionally mugged in modern dating.

Think "Tea" - but with balls, biscuits, and Butter Check™

Butter Check™

Scan profiles.
Spot fakes.
Dodge pain.

Crumpet Court

Post your dating case.
Get judged by other men.

Crumpet Drops

Real stories.
No filters.
No mercy.

The Crumb Bible

Modern dating decoded - manipulation, gaslighting, soft launches, and more.

Be the first to get Crumpets.

We're launching soon. No spam. Just sauce.